Hello there, you can call me C. I get told that I look like 15 years old but I swear I'm legal.
Honestly I find books are more attractive than clothes, I love dark chocolate more than anything, and sometimes 12 hours sleep is not enough for me.
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Posted by Friday, 8 June 2012 02:05 with 0 notes | add more notes
May was such a hell of month for me. From getting my first job, then graduation, and the loss of my grandmother, whom had been living together with me for 18 years. I was really ecstatic knowing finally I graduated and getting my first real job. It's an end of a chapter of my life as a student, and the beginning of a new one, as an adult of course. What a leap.
Working means being independent, and being independent is something I've been dreaming of since I was in Junior High. There goes my happy joyful moment which last for nearly 15 days, then the unexpected event came, wash away those happy moments like it never existed before.
To be honest, I never imagined, nor had a little thought of losing my grandmother. I had been living with her for 18 years, and I must say, honestly, it was not that good. She was moody, somehow rude, clean-freak, perfectionist, nagging too much, and her heart was as hard as rock. Then, on September 2010, she was diagnosed with stomach cancer, stage II B. The operation of removing the tumor was successful, her health had improved and doctor stated that she was clean. However, since March this year, her health dropped rapidly, because unfortunately her cancer, from level II B had gone up to level IV, the chronic stage.
Her weight dropped in a blink of eye, she constantly complaining of her stomach, and she couldn't stop vomiting. From a strong person to a fragile woman who act like a little kid. I know she was afraid of death, who wasn't anyway?
Finally on 31st of May at 3.40 PM she exhaled her last breath. She almost looked like she was sleeping. Mourning and weeping were heard, and sadness filled those 3 days, but deep down inside we know that she's in better place, re-united with God.
Farewell Ama, we miss you but one day we'll be meeting you, in Heaven.
There's A Time for Everything Posted by Friday, 6 April 2012 21:57 with 1 notes | add more notes
Every story has 2 sides, same goes to human being. I was that kind of person who is seriously easy to influence. I was naive, really naive, until these past problems have successfully opened my eyes. I learn to not judging people instantly without knowing their reason or their stories from at least two perspectives.
Hence, now I'm being positioned in the middle, between my two most beloved people in this whole world. It's not easy I must tell. I don't want to take side, I don't want to blame, but I just want them to reconcile and work it out, not cutting their communication and just grow apart. I know that God will surely help when the time comes, but hey, don't you guys think that you can't sit back and try to at least getting to know other's thought and not just dwelling in your little mind without knowing the truth? There are so many possibilities that might happen. There's nothing wrong with take a moment and think, try to look from their shoes. Everything happen for reasons. Perhaps by spending little effort to get know what are the reasons behind this might lead you to the right path, one step closer to the finish line.
There is no storm that does not stop, but there is no party that does not end as well. There's a time of sadness, and there's a time of happiness.
Hope for the best, prepare for the worst, and always have faith in God.
The Quarter-Life Crisis Posted by 21:53 with 0 notes | add more notes
It is when you stop going along with the crowd and start realizing that there are a lot of things about yourself that you didn't know and may or may not like. You start feeling insecure and wonder where you will be in a year or two, but then get scared because you barely know where you are now. You start realizing that people are selfish and that, maybe, those friends that you thought you were so close to aren't exactly the greatest people you have ever met and the people you have lost touch with are some of the most important ones. What you do not realize is that they are realizing that too and are not really cold or catty or mean or insincere, but that they are as confused as you. You look at your job. It is not even close to what you thought you would be doing or maybe you are looking for one and realizing that you are going to have to start at the bottom and are scared. You miss the comforts of college, of groups, of socializing with the same people on a constant basis. But then you realize that maybe they weren't so great after all. You are beginning to understand yourself and what you want and do not want. Your opinions have gotten stronger. You see what others are doing and find yourself judging a bit more than usual because suddenly you realize that you have certain boundaries in your life and add things to your list of what is acceptable and what is not. You are insecure and then secure. You laugh and cry with the greatest force of your life. You feel alone and scared and confused. Suddenly change is the enemy and you try and cling on to the past with dear life but soon realize that the past is drifting further and further away and there is nothing to do but stay where you are or move forward. You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you loved could do such damage to you or you lay in bed and wonder why you can't meet anyone decent enough to get to know better. You love someone but maybe love someone else too and cannot figure out why you are doing this because you are not a bad person. One night stands and random hook ups start to look cheap and getting wasted and acting like an idiot starts to look pathetic. You go through the same emotions and questions over and over and talk with your friends about the same topics because you cannot seem to make a decision. You worry about loans and money and the future and making a life for yourself and while winning the race would be great, right now you'd just like to be a contender! What you may not realize is that everyone reading this relates to it. We are in our best of times and our worst of times, trying as hard as we can to figure this whole thing out.
C for Cat Posted by Wednesday, 4 January 2012 13:15 with 0 notes | add more notes
Since I was a kid, I love eating weird style of meal, which my aunt and my brother called 'cat food'. No, it's not whiskers, it's merely rice with shredded fried fish or shredded fried egg with sweet soy sauce.
And well, lately my brother said a few times that I do eat like a cat though. Let me recall those conversations I had with him.
# Conversation 1:
Me: "I think I can eat tuna, luncheon, rice, and spicy shredded chicken everyday."
Brother: "You eat like a homeless cat."
Me: ".....seriously?"
# Conversation 2:
Me: "How about if we put this spicy canned tuna into the fried noodles?"
Brother: "Please don't eat like a cat."
Me: "*close the can and put it inside the fridge*"
# Conversation 3:
Me: "Okay, we've put the shredded chicken into the fried rice right? How about tuna?"
Brother: "Hmm, okay"
*while eating*
Brother: "Geez seriously it looks like a cat food *staring at the plate*"
Me: "*munching happily* I don't care as long as it tastes good, and it does taste good."
Those are my epic conversations with my brother. Funny, eh?
My friends said that my face looks like a cat. I have 5 dimples on my face, thus when I smile or laugh those dimples will form whiskers. Not only that, my eyes resemble cat's eyes as well. Oh and don't forget my cat-like grin. Seriously it's making me think that I do resemble a cat. Even my best friend said that my attitude does resemble one. She said that cats look quiet, and calm, but when people touch or annoy them, they better get ready to face those claws, which.... similar like me. Well, to be honest, that surprises me. A lot.
For the Love of Procrastinating Posted by 11:20 with 0 notes | add more notes
Boom. Happy belated new year! I didn't manage to go to Marina Bay to do countdown and watch firework there, instead I sat in front of my laptop, and did my assignment. Nerd much? Yeah. Pathetic much? I guess... not. Ha. But I saw the firework from my apartment though.
Speaking of nerd, my assignments are pilling up like crazy and I do really pray for my survival. I need to pass these last two weeks of my term. I really really need a lot of caffeines to keep me awake, and I have must cut my sleeping hours. So much for procrastinating. Blame my blood type though, they said that 'O' type like to procrastinate a lot, yes?
Alright then, I need to go back to my essay. Gosh, I have to study for finance as well, I have test in 16 hours, yet I still manage to update my blog. I couldn't believe myself sometimes. Psh.
Bidding Adieu to 2011 Posted by Wednesday, 28 December 2011 13:00 with 0 notes | add more notes
I feel like writing, or typing.. or whatever it is. So, as we're just 3 days away from 2012, here I am, sitting and letting my memories travel back to the first day of 2011, eventhough I'm supposed to do my journals. I don't know whether I should be happy or sad knowing 2011 comes to an end. Happy because I can, well hopefully, make 2012 better than 2011. And sad because I believe in 2012, I won't be the same 'C' anymore. 2011 has changed me a lot I would say.
I used to be those cheerful girls who always have smile plastered on her face. The kind of girl who never got worry over her future, who can be found laughing with her friends in cafe or mall, well you know the type happy joy-joy girl. But as 2011 goes, problems found their ways to smash me flat. You may say that I'm exaggerating, but seriously, those problems are actually not be meant for teenagers in my age. Well, who am I to complain? Shit happens and here I am, being much more introvert and colder than before. I know I should take the positive side and still be grateful, but sometimes I start questioning myself, what did I do to deserve this? why? why me?
Well, let's look at the positive side, shall we? I know that God has good reasons behind this, I know that He has made everything beautiful in its time, I know that faith in Him means faith in His timing, I know He never fail me, no, not even once. Thus, I hope, as 2011 is approaching its end, 2012 will get even better. I believe 2012 will be more challenging as I'll be graduated in less than 2 months. I have to find job, I have to... you know, live by myself. But hey, finally I can be independent as what I've always been dreaming of, which is perhaps a good thing... I hope.
Posted by Friday, 8 June 2012 02:05 with 0 notes | add more notes
May was such a hell of month for me. From getting my first job, then graduation, and the loss of my grandmother, whom had been living together with me for 18 years. I was really ecstatic knowing finally I graduated and getting my first real job. It's an end of a chapter of my life as a student, and the beginning of a new one, as an adult of course. What a leap.
Working means being independent, and being independent is something I've been dreaming of since I was in Junior High. There goes my happy joyful moment which last for nearly 15 days, then the unexpected event came, wash away those happy moments like it never existed before.
To be honest, I never imagined, nor had a little thought of losing my grandmother. I had been living with her for 18 years, and I must say, honestly, it was not that good. She was moody, somehow rude, clean-freak, perfectionist, nagging too much, and her heart was as hard as rock. Then, on September 2010, she was diagnosed with stomach cancer, stage II B. The operation of removing the tumor was successful, her health had improved and doctor stated that she was clean. However, since March this year, her health dropped rapidly, because unfortunately her cancer, from level II B had gone up to level IV, the chronic stage.
Her weight dropped in a blink of eye, she constantly complaining of her stomach, and she couldn't stop vomiting. From a strong person to a fragile woman who act like a little kid. I know she was afraid of death, who wasn't anyway?
Finally on 31st of May at 3.40 PM she exhaled her last breath. She almost looked like she was sleeping. Mourning and weeping were heard, and sadness filled those 3 days, but deep down inside we know that she's in better place, re-united with God.
Farewell Ama, we miss you but one day we'll be meeting you, in Heaven.
There's A Time for Everything Posted by Friday, 6 April 2012 21:57 with 1 notes | add more notes
Every story has 2 sides, same goes to human being. I was that kind of person who is seriously easy to influence. I was naive, really naive, until these past problems have successfully opened my eyes. I learn to not judging people instantly without knowing their reason or their stories from at least two perspectives.
Hence, now I'm being positioned in the middle, between my two most beloved people in this whole world. It's not easy I must tell. I don't want to take side, I don't want to blame, but I just want them to reconcile and work it out, not cutting their communication and just grow apart. I know that God will surely help when the time comes, but hey, don't you guys think that you can't sit back and try to at least getting to know other's thought and not just dwelling in your little mind without knowing the truth? There are so many possibilities that might happen. There's nothing wrong with take a moment and think, try to look from their shoes. Everything happen for reasons. Perhaps by spending little effort to get know what are the reasons behind this might lead you to the right path, one step closer to the finish line.
There is no storm that does not stop, but there is no party that does not end as well. There's a time of sadness, and there's a time of happiness.
Hope for the best, prepare for the worst, and always have faith in God.
The Quarter-Life Crisis Posted by 21:53 with 0 notes | add more notes
It is when you stop going along with the crowd and start realizing that there are a lot of things about yourself that you didn't know and may or may not like. You start feeling insecure and wonder where you will be in a year or two, but then get scared because you barely know where you are now. You start realizing that people are selfish and that, maybe, those friends that you thought you were so close to aren't exactly the greatest people you have ever met and the people you have lost touch with are some of the most important ones. What you do not realize is that they are realizing that too and are not really cold or catty or mean or insincere, but that they are as confused as you. You look at your job. It is not even close to what you thought you would be doing or maybe you are looking for one and realizing that you are going to have to start at the bottom and are scared. You miss the comforts of college, of groups, of socializing with the same people on a constant basis. But then you realize that maybe they weren't so great after all. You are beginning to understand yourself and what you want and do not want. Your opinions have gotten stronger. You see what others are doing and find yourself judging a bit more than usual because suddenly you realize that you have certain boundaries in your life and add things to your list of what is acceptable and what is not. You are insecure and then secure. You laugh and cry with the greatest force of your life. You feel alone and scared and confused. Suddenly change is the enemy and you try and cling on to the past with dear life but soon realize that the past is drifting further and further away and there is nothing to do but stay where you are or move forward. You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you loved could do such damage to you or you lay in bed and wonder why you can't meet anyone decent enough to get to know better. You love someone but maybe love someone else too and cannot figure out why you are doing this because you are not a bad person. One night stands and random hook ups start to look cheap and getting wasted and acting like an idiot starts to look pathetic. You go through the same emotions and questions over and over and talk with your friends about the same topics because you cannot seem to make a decision. You worry about loans and money and the future and making a life for yourself and while winning the race would be great, right now you'd just like to be a contender! What you may not realize is that everyone reading this relates to it. We are in our best of times and our worst of times, trying as hard as we can to figure this whole thing out.
C for Cat Posted by Wednesday, 4 January 2012 13:15 with 0 notes | add more notes
Since I was a kid, I love eating weird style of meal, which my aunt and my brother called 'cat food'. No, it's not whiskers, it's merely rice with shredded fried fish or shredded fried egg with sweet soy sauce.
And well, lately my brother said a few times that I do eat like a cat though. Let me recall those conversations I had with him.
# Conversation 1:
Me: "I think I can eat tuna, luncheon, rice, and spicy shredded chicken everyday."
Brother: "You eat like a homeless cat."
Me: ".....seriously?"
# Conversation 2:
Me: "How about if we put this spicy canned tuna into the fried noodles?"
Brother: "Please don't eat like a cat."
Me: "*close the can and put it inside the fridge*"
# Conversation 3:
Me: "Okay, we've put the shredded chicken into the fried rice right? How about tuna?"
Brother: "Hmm, okay"
*while eating*
Brother: "Geez seriously it looks like a cat food *staring at the plate*"
Me: "*munching happily* I don't care as long as it tastes good, and it does taste good."
Those are my epic conversations with my brother. Funny, eh?
My friends said that my face looks like a cat. I have 5 dimples on my face, thus when I smile or laugh those dimples will form whiskers. Not only that, my eyes resemble cat's eyes as well. Oh and don't forget my cat-like grin. Seriously it's making me think that I do resemble a cat. Even my best friend said that my attitude does resemble one. She said that cats look quiet, and calm, but when people touch or annoy them, they better get ready to face those claws, which.... similar like me. Well, to be honest, that surprises me. A lot.
For the Love of Procrastinating Posted by 11:20 with 0 notes | add more notes
Boom. Happy belated new year! I didn't manage to go to Marina Bay to do countdown and watch firework there, instead I sat in front of my laptop, and did my assignment. Nerd much? Yeah. Pathetic much? I guess... not. Ha. But I saw the firework from my apartment though.
Speaking of nerd, my assignments are pilling up like crazy and I do really pray for my survival. I need to pass these last two weeks of my term. I really really need a lot of caffeines to keep me awake, and I have must cut my sleeping hours. So much for procrastinating. Blame my blood type though, they said that 'O' type like to procrastinate a lot, yes?
Alright then, I need to go back to my essay. Gosh, I have to study for finance as well, I have test in 16 hours, yet I still manage to update my blog. I couldn't believe myself sometimes. Psh.
Bidding Adieu to 2011 Posted by Wednesday, 28 December 2011 13:00 with 0 notes | add more notes
I feel like writing, or typing.. or whatever it is. So, as we're just 3 days away from 2012, here I am, sitting and letting my memories travel back to the first day of 2011, eventhough I'm supposed to do my journals. I don't know whether I should be happy or sad knowing 2011 comes to an end. Happy because I can, well hopefully, make 2012 better than 2011. And sad because I believe in 2012, I won't be the same 'C' anymore. 2011 has changed me a lot I would say.
I used to be those cheerful girls who always have smile plastered on her face. The kind of girl who never got worry over her future, who can be found laughing with her friends in cafe or mall, well you know the type happy joy-joy girl. But as 2011 goes, problems found their ways to smash me flat. You may say that I'm exaggerating, but seriously, those problems are actually not be meant for teenagers in my age. Well, who am I to complain? Shit happens and here I am, being much more introvert and colder than before. I know I should take the positive side and still be grateful, but sometimes I start questioning myself, what did I do to deserve this? why? why me?
Well, let's look at the positive side, shall we? I know that God has good reasons behind this, I know that He has made everything beautiful in its time, I know that faith in Him means faith in His timing, I know He never fail me, no, not even once. Thus, I hope, as 2011 is approaching its end, 2012 will get even better. I believe 2012 will be more challenging as I'll be graduated in less than 2 months. I have to find job, I have to... you know, live by myself. But hey, finally I can be independent as what I've always been dreaming of, which is perhaps a good thing... I hope.
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Posted by Friday, 8 June 2012 02:05 with 0 notes | add more notes
